There isnt time or space to get started on the unintended consequences of the Bradley Amendment (42 US Code 666 somehow appropriate) but it desperately needs to be rewritten or repealed. Why the hell arent they taking care of their kids? So do I feel sorry for him because he was jailed for non compliance with his job searches or when his tax refund is snatched (when he finally did get a job) and given to me to satisfy his arrears? But goes to Vegas and Cancun all the time.. and when he takes the kid , he makes him babysit so he and his new wife can go and get drunk on a bar and party. I got them because of their mother crazy action. In Georgia, non-custodial parents who owe at least $5,000, have not made payments in the last six months and have not been located, are placed on the Georgia DHS's public list, with the hope that someone might see the list and can help track down the parent owing child support. But the truth is, she is a photographer who works under the table. In my experience almost all divorced women claim to be abused. And he is an amazing father. Even though I won in court I lost in the end but what keeps me going is knowing this cant last forever. His family avoids me as well because I honestly think they are embarrassed. The judge of course signs a warrant for arrest, and also a sizeable lien on my house for the exs attorney and legal fees, and liquidated damages. The financial circumstances of the parent receiving child support. It sounds like the father could jump through hoops backwards to be there for the children and that still wouldnt be good enough for you. If she doesnt, and he does, once again her decision. Im currently 13 and although Im young, I know what goes on with child support agreements. Someone that wants too fight NOT complain.. 215-626-2504. Home / Articles / 4 Problems With The Modern Child Support System. Have a physical confrontation with wife and/or children. It really all has to do with corruption in the courts and who the judge happens to be. Ive always paid. Problem with support. Some of you men are just EVIL. Was known previously as AFDC. I had to track it sown to get credit and when I did they didnt refund my 9000 of being over paid they just kept taking and I was quite a bit ahead. I think that Im enough of a mother to support my kids. Whilst many views float around arguing for and against child support, most decent fathers and parents would argue the issue is not whether or not they wish to support their children, but rather the often unfair conditions imposed upon them. They spend way too much time chasing and threatning the fathers that are paying so that those cases can used in their bs statitics as a means of showing the system works. . For every situation you point out about terrible fathers I will point out a terrible situation that 50/50 joint custody could have prevented. So hes supposed to keep paying while hes in prison? Medical, dental, optical, school supplies, books, clothes, fun stuff, sports equipment, exs vehicle payments, insurance and registration, all outstanding debt. That line where you say that people assume both parents have good paying jobs goes both ways. dads. My retirement is 75k. He completely has controlled our lives and finances for the last four years. the way things are set now is a castle and shack effect and needs immediate attention in the change department! The court typically ensures that the original order best suits the specific family circumstances. Being she makes 60k plus over you she should be getting less and paying half the insurance. God bless! Example my husband pays support for a child which is half of his income. Longform Family Court Judge Sheds Light on Unfair Child Support Practices in Texas Megan Feldman April 3, 2008 4:00AM The problem began the night his wife didn't come home. Bipolar disorder runs in her family unfortunately, I wish I was making this up but its the harsh reality we live in. both of you chose to bring these children into the world so both are equally responsible. I literally spend 300 on sushi. They pretty much dont care. or you could be like my ex and skip the state leave no contact info and still want paid. The National Parents Organization states, "Long ago and far away there was a land in which non-custodial fathers paid child support directly to the custodial motherIn the 1970s, child support collection, disbursement and accounting became a function of government instead." #childsupport #indigentfathers #americancorruptfamilylaw Take the kid, take the money. There are MANY things wrong with the child support system, that need to be changed, starting by making laws uniform across the state, allowing it to be a pre-tax reduction for the person who pays it, a unified stopping point where the non-custodial parent is removed from paying without having to spend the time or money to have to go to court to get it stopped, etc. It seems some are not interested in having a relationship with you, but rather just your wallet. It just goes to show you. While Im over here working 60 hours a week to get what they get for sating at home all day the government is inableing useless people, The system is all jacked up we can all agree, but some action needs to be taken! Lets do something people !!! My fiance currently pays 800 a month for 4 kids, order was placed about 2 years this August, divorced took about 4 years, now 2 of the kids are grown, both graduating from high school in May(shes spending about 3000 for the after party, she posted it over facebook about how their father should helped), the other 2 are 15 and 16. Im not lonely on the holidays. If they didnt want the above, they would have listened to Karen DeCrow. Wehave three girls ages 10, 14 and 17. Do what is actually in the best interest of the child and not the state. What the PC parent has to realize is when the parent-child relationship is destroyed to maintain the monopoly that is an actual legal way out of the monopoly. The idea of stereotyping ALL fathers as deadbeats was a deliberate ploy to make the fathers the debtors, and the denigrating term was widely used. It should be equal on both parties and the same across the board no matter the income. My daughter has never been close to me since. My wife has all these programs she has to do an they say she still has to go find work so there saying ahes not allowed to sleep cause she has appoinments everyday of the week an then her daughter on the weekends. Added bonus for him, it sure pissed you off. Hes now getting SSI benefits which cannot be garnished and my daughter is LEGALLY BLIND works a full-time job and cannot get SSDI benefits! Well ok lets look at the cost and risk of abortion and adoption. I got the full scene on video and got it online for divorce proof later on. The dirty secret of child support is that states profit from increasing the size of child support awards. Oh, The Horror. Ladies, sometimes it is with walking away and getting away. It took five years to get a final judgment and he only paid five years of support. Shame on people who complain about child support. The dependent spouse's income. Judges will force noncustodial parents to get a job, any job to start paying welfare back or they will throw them in jail????? Instead of measuring child support compliance as the gross amount of money collected, the courts should use a self-support reserve (like Delaware does) to determine the percentage of parents (with the means to do so) who are sharing the responsibility for providing for their childrens needs. FREE BACKGROUND INFORMATION AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST. She is fully capable of make $85+k per year in our state doing the proffesion she went to college for. Child support laws are designed to keep the noncustodial father/mother in a financial decay, as if they are the ones who are responsible for the child and divorce. We equally fund the account but neither of us subsidizes the others life. Im just trying to learn more about the situation. 1. My husband is also going through a horrible mess with an interstate child support mess. She wouldnt even let me come see my daughter. I was confused as how this could be a debt even before a child support order existed?? I still have two more years and last year I lost my employment and because I was out of work for 3 months it went up to 4K and now NYS child support is asking for double what I was paying every two weeks. However, his contribution is used strictly for food (do you know how much teenaged boys eat?) Stops going to daycare? I fought anyway, and now have a GAL that has equated me with a child abuser in his language and promises to punish me if I dont accept what she is willing to give me. Courts awarded her $1000/mo because of the RENTAL value of the church house we were living in (we could not profit from rental or sale of this houseit belonged to the church). Parents are supposed to support each other and their children not have children just to collect support. Not only did my father fill my mind with false claims about my mother, he also brought her to court countless times over what he viewed as an unfair child support arrangement. I am so thankful for our ability to not use our child as a weapon or greed. The mother always used the child as a weapon prior to the legal matters being settled and now she doesnt have a leg to stand on. This shoehorns men and women into sexist roles, with men forced to be the breadwinner. Ive been paying, lost my job, got behind, live in a different state. What your mother is doing is illegal. How typical!! Children need to bond to one parent when they are growing up. I am not sure where you gets your facts from but half of this is garbage. Women these days claim they are equal to a man. And she saved none of the child support for the childs future, including college education. Parenting laws are similar in both the countries. it is a human rights issue that disproportionately and unethically affects fathers and their children to the tune 97% of all obligations financially insofar as child support payments are the father paying it- whether they are a better parent and excellent or not, whether they were domestically abused by the mother or not, whether the children were abused by the mother or not, whether the mother has a criminal history or not and even whether the father has actual custody or not not moms getting that insane obligation percentage across the board. I am and always have been an active father. Jade I am sorry you have know earthly idea what you are talking about. The harsh reality is that non of our law makers have the balls to make the changes that are truely in the best interest of the children in fear of losing votes. Sometimes we only see her once every two months). Why should that man, who doesnt have a large income, be forced into a situation where he has to struggle just to make ends meet when the woman is perfectly capable of working and has a job herself? I got 50-50 custody of my son at eight months old, but still have to pay her $600 a month. I pawned my truck, all that i had to my name, and he sent cps out the next day to figure out why i was not in jaik where he wanted me. Single parents were given financial assistance from the government. Mothers are grossly exploited nowadays while dads sit back and receive the money, 50% custody, and respect for fighting for their kids when in reality most just dump them at grandmas and make mom pay for everything and do all care-taking. The statistics simply do not support Roses claims. Not to mention she has a college education and substitute teaching certificate I work construction so my hours dont reflect yearly pay. Fathers today still need support when experiencing divorce and child custody proceedings. So please, someone tell me again how child support is unfair? And if my child stays with him, she will be fed with food that she is allergic too, stays in the computer all day long and unsupervised with assignments, and not even read to before bedtime, only goes to the mall as part of going out does not even bring her to the park which is just walking distance, so why the hell I will let that happen. Here's how you can give Black fathers a better chance in court. You are being conspired against as soon as you enter the court room. as well. True.., pretty good read, too, I looked up the memo, Im suprised I hadnt come across it earlier Seriously once I got ruined I couldnt get back out of the loop, it just keeps and the fees the state charges for all of that is nonsense. even knowing this who youre gonna call? Women have the advantage right off the bat. Dont suffer because your pride gets in the way. Only for her to go for child support which she never paid to him she was barley in their childrens lives before they were 3 and 4 . Why is it that men in the midst of the great depression were not thrown in jail. His ex was on housing, having to list how much child support she was receiving. And on top of all this what about his biological needs, he needs a relationship too. In the state of Wisconsin, if the mother has primary placement of he child and receives ANY kind of state aid, for her, the child in question, or children with another man, child support is required to be paid. Gets paid straight cash, and has since 1997. Way to go legal system. One was 17 at the time, another 14, and another 7. Sir you are 100% correct! If the shoe was on the other foot, I would have been locked up for molestation, and had my kids taken away. This because I was left to die at the bottom of a set of stairs while they left stepping over my hemorhaging bodyI would have gladly given up that fight to survive and recover if had known I would never have my children near me again. Mike indefinitely agree with you. I believe the states couldnt care less about whether your child is supported. You are going to say you cant get blood from a stone but your spouse still needs to pay the bills. Im buying a house in cash in 8 years so it matters none. I want to be in my daughters life. Has thrown rocks at them when they were kids. After 10 years of never being late, my husband had major surgery and was out of work for a year we kept paying until we couldnt and did the right thing and made a court date. when my son comes for the summer , his mother still wants me to pay child support and take care of him for the summer, she will only pay half on a plane ticket and thats becuase she doesnt want my son to switch planes, so she pays for a direct flight, my drive to the airport is longer then his flight home. Child support is corrupt and judges are afraid of women bashing or what may be taken as that so they trow the book at us men. http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm, http://www.fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf, https://web.archive.org/web/20150219014614/http://answerisland.com/child-support-kickbacks.html, http://fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf. Theyve received my money, and have had their parents in their lives, from day one. This blows my wife has 400k trust fund her dad pays her13 k to be in a band she has a part timing gig at weight watchers only to make 25 k a minimum here her dad did our taxes for years and he has pumped thousand of dollars over the years as gifted money. For some people its worth it to be happy, but its not easy. You really know how to pick em. Lets face it, our government (federal, state & local) cant even manage their funds s0 in exchange, the system becomes over burdened, yet the salaries of the government employees continue to rise. Instead at 33 years old with an 8 year old child, she chooses to live at home and work a job in a doctors office full time making $30k per year lol!! I have paid over 80000 in child support in 14 years and about 5000 for depositions and another 20000 for lawyers. I was my kids only involved parent, only disciplinary, only actual oarticipator in their rearing. Ive hired a lawyer, who couldnt change anything, and Im now over 100,000 in debt. That is just another weapon that women use to be unequal again. I could not have imagined a more ridiulously biased courtroom, i could not have written a more obvious display of anti mother hatred and attack. Your assumption is that people have children under ideal circumstances where the parents have good paying jobs, a big house with a nice picket fence, and two cars in the driveway and $1,000.00 is chump change. Than i ask why was nothing ever produced that she was going to school, they said its not our job to do that. We have 50/50 split custody (in PA) and my ex has lied in court more then 5 times, that she does not work. Or at least split the time. The kids are the ones who suffer from this unjust law. This isnt a parental rights situation. The relief i have felt from bankruptcy? So the guy will still have to pay!!!!! Ive had CSS employees tell me that its a horrible situation, and they feel badbut give me little advice. She would stay in bed til 2 pm and get up and make herself food. The whole system is punitive, if I lose my job and cant afford an attorney to get my payments reduced they threaten to take away drivers license or put you in jail. If one parent doesnt want to work the other parent should get the kid. So when a woman has children under the guise that she will raise them at home and not send them to a sitter while she goes to work, she will then expect the same consideration if things go south. He was threatening, abusive, pulled guns on me. I like I said dont not care if my kids father pays me child support, because I know that its what keeps me going everyday. THE MONEY CAN BURN, it wont save anybody. Same holds true for adoption. Its awful for the kids especially in contentious situations. Go figure. Why should we have to pay for your child when you have both the ability to pay and the responsibility to pay? Everyone on this bored is complaining, and rightfully so. I have never been so destitute in my life. But in about half the states the guidelines do not adjust child support amounts for time with the children. Sounds like you have sour because your ex found a new love and you are now forced to pay child support for YOUR children. Males get no choice in what you do. If the non-custodial parent wasnt paying back the welfare, then that isnt fair to citizens. The problem is too many people are employed in this scam. Once again he has no say. your opinons are based on ignorance, ego and idiocy. Ive felt the same emotions as you, still feel a lot of them. Get to court and have every thing I need all types of paperwork but they wouldnt look at not one piece didnt even want to. Im in definite agreement for change. He is what brought the most happiness in my life and an outrageous amount of support made me homeless and broke that time that was once spent with my son. I can agree with the law definitely not being perfect but from where I stand its all in favor of the other parent. Imagine a scenario where parents have 50/50 custody, earn equal amounts, therefore being capable of offering the child the same lifestyle at each home. He refused to have it fixed, even when I offered to pay him back in three days s. I couldnt bear watching my young toddler and other kids sweat for a day! Could you contact me via email, I have some questions that I am sure you could lend me some advice on. Plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page for all parents fighting family court, too Wow!! Your money is good enough but youre not. I too live in Illinois, and Ive had custody of my son and daughter since 2004. Are there deadbeat dads out there ? Ive paid thousands in CS and they have 4 vacations planned so far and when I get them those 48 hours all I can do is a park and ice cream. The next time, was when he told me that hed had the my vehicle and oven fixed. Dead beat dad no. Top it off, I could not get SSI benefits for her, she was denied!! I dont blame him. By the time I did call, my children were convinced to not talk to me anymore. Yes, he did say child support was a game plan for women and in his case that might be true. I hope you both can work out your situations so your children dont end up paying the price. As it is I nickel and dime everything. She split up our family with 5 young kids and tried to bankrupt me in the process. you are being forced into paternity and/or an unfair child support obligation against your wishes, you are a victim of domestic violence, . So we agreed on $400 a month to be paid to her for monies aiding in support of our child. Stop your whining I am currently unemployed and I pay $1,600 for one child and my x-wife makes 70k a year and I have nothing save for retirement. Someone who has made the exes car payment 100 times to many yes. Besides these 3 children, I have 7 other children from prior relationships. A federal law gives States matching dollars for all the money that goes through the States Child Support office. Out dated systemI have 2 boys and share time with them 50/50. People make mistakes and they fall out of love, things happen. The system sucks! (I live in Florida if that helps) they may have an unofficial agreement that hasnt been brought to court (Im not exactly sure about that) im Afraid that if my dad stops paying the support than my mom will try to bring it to court and do something crazy. I totally agree. Now he is labeled a deadbeat dad . Plus, by his time, the kids didnt want to leave a household where they could do just about whatever they want, and come live in a household where there would be rules and consequences. We also split any extra costs (medical, etc.) It doesnt work like that in Missouri. How come they dont force the lazy welfare kings and queens to get a job, any job to pay welfare back?????! And continue to incentivize the worst women to destroy their soon to be ex-babys daddies. Think about it. I think the takeaway from all of these comments is there is no standard situation. The mothers salary absolutely does matters because it takes two parents to create and raise a child and a working mother can pay just like a working father. I would have to spend a significant amount of money to hope to rectify, no guarantee. However if you go walking in there with attitude and saying you need more visitation to reduce CS, youre digging yourself a grave. In the mean time there hasnt been a revision in 6 years and the guy is doing about $35000 more than when payments where established. Lisa STOP far more great fathers are being fucking over by dead beat mothers looking for a handout! Abortion pill whatever poses a health risk to the mother also. etc. The common denominator is not gender, it is parents, and a devious, maniacal government court system, which promotes drama and litigation instead of healthy parenting and avoidance of major life-altering custody disputes, which never have the childrens wellbeing at heart. He tried to be as involved as he was allowed. Hard to argue with the injustice of the overwhelming amount of evidence in support of it being just that. That is pennies of the cost of raising my precious spawn. The system needs to look at what the entire household brings in, not just the parents of the child. But there are also fathers who go through senareos similar to what I discribed above. The state uses federal matching funds from teh federal taxpayer to balance their budgets. Her Honor was not happy that someone without a law degree proved her wrong. The couple shared physical custody 50/50. Many fathers sincerely want to do right by their children, but simply don't have the means to do so. My father is a firefighter/ paramedic and makes a fairly good income but is struggling financially because he has to pay child support to my mother even though he has custody. Lose a job? That was seven years ago. But still always there for my kids. Get Divorced. I took the charge to stand up for my right to visit my kids. Laugh Maniacally. While it depends on the judge and the circumstances, a child support payment is usually not reduced if a father quits a full-time job and returns to school. As a defunct website named AnswerIsland explained it, both ordering sole custody with the lower earning parent and restricting the non-custodial parents access to their children increases the amount of child support collected, which increases the incentive payments (kickbacks) that the state receives for collecting child support. I dont thin there is any easy way to solve this problem. Hes 52, and he has kids by his wife neice and daughter. The kids will come to their own conclusion in time. Women can choose abortion , adoption or selling the kid basically . That is the only time the best individual interest of any child forced to live with whom they are told to live with will ever be met. Because its NOT. Finally when the three your time it was up we got paperwork saying we could request a modification it took four months before we got any response after the request and now even though the mother said the kids do not live with her he is having to prove that they live with him before they will change anything. Know that, your child in not a ward of any state, it is yours. This makes no sense? I could not drive. Fathers are victimized by the court who now makes it illegal for you to be a father, and only by the courts leave are you allowed to be a father. He makes alot of money and doesnt need CS IS an argument in the courts right now; in fact its how CS is determined. My son currently lives in a very hostile situation going back and forth between two households that are night and day different. She was put in jail for two weeks once, not for the child support itself, but for lying to the judge. Remember you chose who you wanted to mate with you were not force like in some countries where human rights do not exist. So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. Badly. The primary driver in most custody cases is that if the time division changes, so does the CS. A woman can do anything a man can do, right? This should be the new law. What a Dumb statement. Rose you really are making it sounds so like you created the child alone. Your situation is in the minority overall. nothing with the law is easy. Now he works for us in a real job. I have been turned into an ATM machine and a babysitter in my kids life in many ways. Now 6 months before their youngest turns 18 she sues is for 78,000.00 $20,000.00 is interest. The mom or the taxpayers, so stop complaining and say thank you to the other people who pay to raise your children. I was even told to stop trying to get out of your responsibility. Children are merely a piece of furniture to be split and distributed. Men have to pay but they have no say. Child support isnt supposed to cover 100% of childcare. The National Parents Organization recently released its Shared Parenting Report Card, which graded every state on its child custody statutes and how well they promote shared parenting following divorce or separation. Your email address will not be published. Check it out! Many fathers just accept the notion that they are only entitled to 4 nights a month (every other weekend) with their children and don't realize they can get more time if they fight for it. Quit Job. I cant afford a lawyer to keep going back and forth to court so I have essentially given up. Dont be afraid, make sure that the powers that be, the judge, understands that you are not in agreement of any order that violates your rights as a human being, that is, your right to parent your child as you see fit. and your civil rights are being violated and definitely hire an attorney. Rotten and broken system where the children get hurt the worst and a father is allowed to raise their step children and not their own. I pay $1000/month for one child. The child support agency in Virginia says I have to continue to pay her the same amount because we have a unitary order instead of an per order, we were never married and all the stuff I have read says in VA 18 or graduates. Even if you are not the best parent in the world the government shouldnt be able to take your kids away and hand them over to the other parent. So the result even with video proof shes cheating on me while away and paying for it all I get shafted, I was denied full custody ir the house. 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Not interested in having a relationship with you, but still have to spend a significant amount of evidence support. Gets your facts from but half of this is garbage we equally fund the account but neither us! Having a relationship too 100 % of childcare the entire household brings,!