14. What does ARMY mean to you? No one knows their way around sarcasm more than our U.S. troops. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. You might be in the Coast Guard if your idea of aromatherapy is Simple Green and JP5. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" My fear of moving stairs is escalating. Got a twelve inch sub. We are currently looking for former Marines to join the team who are interested in writing about tactical gear, survival gear, hiking supplies, etc. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 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It provides an occasion for cadets, officers, noncommissioned officers, and their guests to gather together in an atmosphere of camaraderie, good fellowship, fun, and social rapport. He wanted to move out of the barracks as soon as possible. Ive never understood the Navys color being Navy blue I thought they were the aqua-marines. A military warrant officer saying Okay now watch this shit. Tell these quips to a friend in the service to give them a good chuckle. The pastor nodded, and said, They are the reason we have Memorial Day. var cid='9886149331';var pid='ca-pub-8268907933075282';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-3-0';var ffid=1;var alS=1002%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.style.maxHeight=container.style.minHeight+'px';container.style.maxWidth=container.style.minWidth+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true});You might have thought the ship had sailed when it comes to funny navy jokes and puns but not so! The Navy will turn out the lights and lock all the doors. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. 100+ WW2 Trivia Questions For HistoryBuffs, 17 Military Personnel Talk About The Creepiest Thing Theyve Seen OnDuty, 100+ Scary Stories to Read in the Dark to Leave You With Chills[2021], A Writers Diary Entries From Mid-April,1986, 30 Spooky Paranormal Stories From Former MilitaryPersonnel, You might be in the Coast Guard if people have looked at you and said, The Coast Guard is part of the military?, You might be in the Coast Guard if your child points to the ship and says, Thats where my parent lives!, You might be a Coastie if you head an HH-65 and. I enjoyed the humor section quite a bit. A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California. Funny jokes can boost morale, custom patches of funny short Coast Guard jokes are great. Officer: Thats no way to address an officer! Civilian casual tees are absolutely unacceptable. Some of the jokes on this list you may not fully understand or appreciate unless you were actually in the military, but most of them I think anyone can appreciate. My dog joined the navy. The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. Reply: No, I say again. 56.) An Army Drill Sergeant took some recruits the the mess hall. And when it got to 10,000 feet, we shot it down with the anti-aircraft guns. A cookie and a piece of cake joined the army, but eventually, they abandoned their fellow soldiers. He holds the bulb and then the world revolves around him to screw it in. Ill SEAL you later. . He sits down at a booth and a waitress comes over to take his order. When they come home, they get to leave their inlaws thousands of miles away. The Army will post guards around the building. Corporal Wabo is a former Infantry Squad Leader with 3rd Bn 4th Marines that specialized in Mortars. These jokes are perfect for anyone in the military to laugh at. So, instead, they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. Sat, Apr 01, 2023 . The unit chaplain is usually also invited, if an invocation is needed. A Navy Dining Out is a formal dinner held to celebrate special occasions or to enhance unit morale. If you like these navy jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. See TOP 10 navy jokes from collection of 28 jokes rated by visitors. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. Ask the Army to secure a building and they will set up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out. What did the Coastie say when his friends asked why he was getting married? The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206s".. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. You should always use any of that variety of jokes sparingly. 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They are those who died in the service. The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, The 9 oclock service or the 11 oclock?. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. Dont think so? I am not yolking when I say you are the very best. Marines Say OOOOORAH! 14. 55.) The navy is beginning to recruit blind men They are sending them out to sea. Full Disclosure Here. No grog, no Mr Vice. Don't cry! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. When the sailor finishes up, he heads to the sink to wash his hands. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! Why do optometrists set their clocks to military time? A drill serGENTLEMEN! He tells him what the cashier said and asks what she couldve meant. Officer: Soldier. Oh, youre a troop who survived pepper spray AND mustard gas? The owner of this website does not guarantee offers on this site, and all offers should be viewed as recommendations only. Two bankers went into a diner and ordered two drinks. He signals, Im a US Navy captain. Well we've got a boatload! There may or may not be a guest speaker. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. There was one particular sergeant that worried about everything possible. Want more amazing military jokes? Im a petty officer. Soldier: No way, you guys had air conditioners? The navy is beginning to recruit blind men.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',660,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0'); When I was in the Navy, I was on the deck of a destroyer one day, and I saw a the periscope of an enemy submarine surface nearby.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_11',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',661,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',661,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_3');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. It provides an occasion for members of a unit to gather together in an atmosphere of camaraderie, good fellowship, fun, and social rapport. 7 Cs. Discover a funny military joke about the U.S. Army with this list. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.. He looked at the customers and said: Two teas. A tank ran over a bag of popcorn and apparently, two kernels were killed! Once I get out of the Navy, Im never going to stand in line again!, 1. 12. Basically, if you click on a product link on this site and buy that product we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. His son had clearly focussed more on dividing rather than conquering. INTRODUCTION . If Harrison Fords son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city? Indy-Annapolis. March forth! He signals, "I'm a US Navy captain. yeah we puked. The gorilla eats the sundae and then motions to the waitress for the bill. I dont see it.. Ideas for the top 17 navy jokes were taken from the following sources. The grog is charged and antics begin. What Did One Sailor Say to the Other When They Had the Same Problem?Were in the same boat.. Well I have. Joke tags. #69. Here is a script from a grog ceremony: Granted.. most of the ingrediants are "toxic" booze. but for this one, they use "unleaded" stuff yeah, our grog was so fowl. If you enjoyed our hilarious jokes and puns about the navy, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as our Memorial Day jokes and our Air Force jokes as well as these:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_29',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); 2023 LaffGaff.com. The funniest navy jokes only! 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